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You can take off your cape! No one's asking you to be Super Woman...

Audrey Hurteau

Posted on September 27 2019

Tu peux retirer ta cape! Personne ne t’exige d’être Super Woman

Superpower of a society or feminine malaise of the century? One thing is certain, living with the feeling of having to be perfect in all spheres of one's life is not without consequences for physical and psychological well-being. A reflection on the daily reality of the overwhelmed modern woman who can never do enough.

You have been taught to be more, to do more, to give more. You've been valued for your dream job, your impeccable home, your disciplined weight loss, your trendy look, your couple that keeps the flame alive. We adored you for your first Pinterest cake and the associated theme decoration at your youngest child's party. You've been asked over and over again how you manage to look so perfect without ever looking tired.

But have you ever wondered why you do it? Have you ever thought about taking a step back and looking at the perfect woman you are? This image that you've built up from the cumulative accomplishments of the perfectionist in you.

Because this heroine mask that you put on every day, it may be just a simple adornment to help you forget all the guilt you feel for being both everywhere and nowhere. A way to get over that feeling that's eating you up inside. You know, the one that appeared at the very moment you agreed to live up to a day of two shifts.

Know that you are not the only one to feel this uneasiness resulting from an eventful life where this "Super Woman complex" is valued and maintained.[1] Many women are looking for a mix of energy, strength and confidence in this figure associated with feminine power.

The real Wonder Woman may not have had children to raise, a to-do-list to accomplish or a house to maintain, but she, too, had embraced the standard of the double day!

But by accepting the belief that a superheroine role would allow us to make our daily lives perfect, we have become a whole generation of women who have adopted this tendency to outperform and this insatiable motivation to meet our unattainable demands.

We have staked so much on our ability to manage that we have pushed the right to individual achievement to the very end of our list. This time reserved for ourselves has become an attainable luxury only if we have fulfilled our endless "obligations". And since everything is never done, and nothing that is done is done to perfection, we always end up finding that guilt associated with the idea of giving ourselves a moment of self-care.

Just know that there's a moment coming. That long-awaited day when, exhausted, you finally feel ready to take off your cape, to cross your truth on the path to reality. A perfect timing where your mind frees itself from any tendency to comparison to open up to the idea of a generation of women capable of refraining from criticism and ready to find its strength in accepting the diversity of the group.

That's where it hits you in the face. Dropping the mask you've worn for too many years already. That's when you realize. That you understand. On the day you manage to take a new, non-judgmental look at other people's lives, you finally give yourself a chance to accept yourself. From that moment on, the beautiful Woman that was inside you finally takes HIS place.

This unpretentious woman, who desires to BE before she WILL BE, receives the real super power that emerges from the uniqueness of her person. She finds her way in a normal daily life, her well-being in a slow living lifestyle, her pride in the accomplishment of projects that she now refuses to let die in the great album of dreams. By redefining the term Wonder in her own way, the modern woman can only bring down the social pressure that used to invade her. She can finally live happily, freely, and satisfied to do her best, so always just enough!

Karine

1] Judith Serrin, Superwoman complex a pain in the ego, Boca Raton News, 07-28-1976.

Photo credit: https://mummytime.co/mum-speak/mum-guilt-and-the-superwoman-complex/

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